Anderson Varejao’s Floor Sweat Mopper | Hardest Jobs in Sports

Anderson Varejao’s Floor Sweat Mopper | Hardest Jobs in Sports


(crowd cheering) – Anderson Varejao is one
of the biggest floppers in the NBA. On defense, in transition, setting picks. As soon as someone is near
him, he’s on the ground. And I’m the guy who has
to mop up his sweat. (tense music) Normally floor sweat
moppers work in one stadium, but the NBA decided to specifically
assign me with Varejao, because he’s constantly on the floor. Somebody guards him, he flops. Somebody runs by him, he flops. Sometimes I’m cleaning up his
sweat on one end of the court, and he’s already flopping
on the other end. It’s exhausting. His teammates love how
many fouls he draws, but nobody thinks about the sweat. Okay, it’s hours of work for me, and he only plays six or seven minutes. And it’s not just his arm
and back sweat either, it’s his hair sweat. He’s got hair sweat. I thought this would be an easy job. You know, I get to go see some NBA games, but I never get to watch the games, because I’m too busy
wringing out Varejao sweat. I go through 10 mops a night. Alright, welcome. This is where I keep my equipment. So, this is one of the
custom mops I got made. It’s in the shape of
Varejao, for efficiency. Normally when you mop, you want to do it from north to south, but with Varejao he sweats so much, you kind of have to have
a big arc, like this. One time I asked Varejao if he would consider wearing long-sleeves to cut down on the sweat, and he pretended like I pushed him and fell straight to the ground. Anderson is a good guy and
semi-okay basketball player, but I’m not going to lie, I’m going to feel really
glad once he finally retires. Oh god, what if they
assign me Manu Ginobili? Cleveland fans like to
call him Bambi on Ice, but it’s more like a Bambi on a lake… Of sweat.

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About the Author: John Markowski

31 Comments

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