Bonus Deep Cuts: Hasan Talks Space, The Avengers, And More | Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj | Netflix

Bonus Deep Cuts: Hasan Talks Space, The Avengers, And More | Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj | Netflix

Um, this is my favorite
part of the show. Oh, god. Alright, this one’s…
This is actually really good. “How much do you care
about space tourism? Why should we go slash
not go to the moon, Mars, and beyond?” This is from Vincenzo
Giordano. This is not a real name. That is not a real name. Your name’s Vincenzo Giordano? Do you own a pizza parlor? Like, you’re a character in a
Hallmark movie. It’s just like, Jennie, you know. Vincenzo, what do you do?
We go to the moon? Mars? Why not? The point of going to Mars? I agree, man. I don’t get it. I honestly don’t get it. Like, all these billionaires
have all this money. I’m like, “Save Earth.” You know what I mean, like,
you’re a billionaire – save Earth. Like, get water that’s
clean to Flint, Michigan. But they’re like, “You know where else
they have water? Mars. We’re going to–” Like, I don’t get it. The crazy part is it’s, like, if they’re that rich and
they know that much, and they’re, like, all of them– Like Branson, Musk, Bezos, they’re all like, “We gotta
get away from Earth.” I’m like, “What do you
know that we don’t know?” Right, like this obsession
to colonize another place– I think it also is – because as an Indian person
I just think that, like, colonialism isn’t
en vogue anymore. So it’s, like, the new thing rich white people can do that won’t get them cancelled,
you know what I mean? Because they’re like,
“There’s no martians, we’re not gonna, they’re just – I’m just gonna colonize
the red dirt. That’s all.” Um, what do you think, man?
You think we should go? Space, you think we should go? I– See the thing is, like, I want – that’s such a
beautiful sentence. But based on what you told me
about your dad not hitting you– I don’t believe this.
I don’t believe this. Like, I just don’t believe you. Like, I wanna believe you,
that’s such a beautiful moment, and we could cap
the video with that. And then it’d be
like, “Subscribe below.” But, like, it– People in the comments
would be like, “Pff, liar.” Alright, let me ask
you guys a question. Did you guys watch
Avengers: Endgame? I did. Did you watch it? I didn’t watch it yet because
I’m waiting to take my kids. Oh, you’re gonna take the kids? Yeah. Which might be a mistake. – I haven’t watched the last, like, seven.
– Is it sad? No, I haven’t
watched the last seven. – Is it worth–
– It’s sad. First of all, is it good? – Because I haven’t seen the last seven movies.
– It’s good. Did you hear that Klay
Thompson walked out of the last hour of the movie? Why? He wasn’t feeling it. Because it’s four hours? Well, it’s three hours, but he
said the plot didn’t grab him. Woooooooow. Wait, wait– Why is that such a– I’m, I’m in agreement, I feel like
every time I watch a Marvel movie– Like, like, when you
eat McDonald’s you feel, like, everything
but nothing at the same time. That’s the Avengers! – No, like, he already –
– It’s all the fucking same. He already put two
hours into the movie. Yeah. That’s, like,
worth your time. – Ohhhhh.
– Just finish it! Yeah, at that point, commit.
At that point, commit. – At that point.
– Yeah. Yeah, just– Fuck it out for the
last hour, my guy, come on, like– But, but do you– but when you
watch them do you feel something? Because I don’t–
Because it’s always like, – “Ahhhh, New York’s destroyed again.”
– I felt something– I felt something because everyone
in the movie theater was crying. But, because I’m smart and
I knew it was three hours, I didn’t drink any
liquids the whole day, so I had no tears in
my body whatsoever. So, I was watching it I was like, “Oh, word? She died?
You feel like that? Hmm.” Desus, do you
cry during movies? I– You know what, I don’t cry during movies, but then I’ll cry at,
like, the weirdest parts. At like, like,
someone would be like– “Oh, he’s making a sandwich–” Yeah. And I’d be like, “Oh shit,
I had a sandwich once.” – I give it up super easy.
– Yeah. That’s cause – Worst thing
being in the movies is, like, you see someone else
crying, you’re like, “Ah, look at this bitch nigga.” “Look at this motherfucker.” And then next thing you know, like,
the dog dies, you’re like, “Ahhhh!” I cried– I cried– I took my wife, we went to
go see The Good Dinosaur, the Pixar movie years ago. Yo, why did you do that? And I was bawling! Why did you– You did
that with no kid? No kid. Why would you do that? I fuck with Pixar! That’s emotional torture. They spent, like, 20
years making the movie. They’re like, “We
started working on –” You ever see, like,
the DVDs they’re like, “We started working on
The Good Dinosaur in 1994.” I’m like, “What?” Like, Tupac was still alive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The most interesting person I’ve
talked to in my in-person interviews, uh, was Xiaowen [Liang] who
was the Chinese protestor. She was really awesome. She’s
a Chinese feminist protestor. Uh, she was really funny.
Like, she was super, super funny. She, like, tore me a new asshole. Uh, she’s very funny. You’ve done studio podcasts – without an audience –
– Yes. As well as live podcasts… Yes. …with an audience.
Which one do you prefer? I prefer without an
audience for two reasons. Uh huh. First one is when
there’s an audience, I think sometimes you
feel the need to perform. Uh huh. So you’re kind of, like, you’re not in it because you’re always
sort of, like, checking – the reaction of the room.
– Right. Um, and then it also
might make you not wanna maybe say things that you
truly feel because you’re like, “Oh, I don’t want to be
judged, like, I don’t know how people are gonna take it.” And then the other reason
is just like, you can tru– Like WNYC is, like, so chill. Like, I would
just, like, show up, no makeup on, like, just like, my period
panties on, and, like– With sweatpants
over them, obviously. I’m not just walking
in with panties on. But I mean, and you can just be,
like, so casual and just chill and so I love that, like, the– I think the performative-ness of being
a woman sometimes is very exhausting. – Got it.
– Yeah. What’s up? We’re not doing one more– Eddie, we’re gonna
keep it rolling, baby. Yeah, we’re having fun. We’re having too
much fun right now. Yeah? Alright. You know what I think it is?
I think it’s cause you get secrets. – Yes!
– Like, when you’re solo like that– Because I can’t– Like,
when I did the podcast, you go into the WNYC offices, It’s chill. …get your little coffee. They got, like, the padding on
the wall, the styrofoam thing. It’s great. Yeah and they’re just like,
“Hasan, you got married, right?” And you’re just like, “Alright.
Let’s talk about it.” Favorite book – is this book called On
Writing by Stephen King. It was really– It’s, like, all about,
like, the writing process. It’s one of the best books I’ve ever
read about the creative process. And then one of my
favorite fictional books, uh, fiction books,
is probably Shantaram. That was really
fun. Shantaram, yeah. They were gonna make a movie
on it, but then they stopped. I know you generally don’t
do act outs, but do you have, uh, your best – this is something
we’ve been doing at the office – your best Kawhi
Leonard laugh impression? “Heh huh huh huh huh huh.” Alright, “I’m a die-hard Pistons fan – pick and stick. As someone who has a team
that can relate to your pain, do you support the
idea of teams tanking?” Um, yeah, I say tank, but you
just can’t make it obvious. You know what I mean? Like, just, like, put in bench
players, rotate them in. Let the players, like,
do Instagram on the bench. Just do things that’ll,
like, keep them distracted, that way you can get Zion,
so, I would say that. Just if you’re desperate
just be creative, like start your point
guard at center and just, just see what happens. Okay Toaster Strudel
or Pop-Tarts? This is a really important
question – this is just for me. Um, I think I’m old
school Pop-Tarts. And sometimes I like them,
just, cold. I don’t even like– Straight up? Yeah. Right, you just open
the wrapper… it’s dry. You need – here’s the thing– There’s no Toaster
Strudel fans in the– It’s like, Toaster Strudel
is fine, but I’m like, – What?
– “You’re just trying to come for Pop-Tarts,” and I don’t like that. Yeah, putting your own
icing on it is the best part. Toaster Strudel? Isn’t it always a breakfast item? Oh, they made an
egg and cheese one. Wait, there’s a mac and cheese? Egg– egg and cheese.
Egg and cheese. Oh, okay. I was, like– – Egg and cheese.
– Okay. Here’s what you do. You – I totally understand
the frosting to, uh, sorta surface area dilemma. So they give you one packet per. What you do is you
use the second packet you use half of that and then
you leave that for your sister. Okay. You fuck over generations to
come. It’s the American way. Oh, no. Are you always on time? Always? Now, is that a thing that you
also learned from childhood? So, you were always late and
then you got better over time? What was the critical moment? Long– You do it half the time? Okay. So it’s a five hour flight. What? Are you a masochist?
Why would you do that? So, you guys will go
four hours before– I know, but– You mi– So, something happened.
You missed a flight, huh, once. Do you know what– I haven’t
even learned my lesson. This was like two months ago, I fell asleep I had one of
those 6:00 AM flights. I fell asleep at the gate. I missed my flight because
I fell asleep at the gate. I just, like, knocked out. No, no one cares about me. No one cares, no
one cares about– And I called my dad and
he told me the same thing he’s like, “Hasan no
one cares about you. No one cares about where you
have to go, your problems.” He even told me, “People won’t
even come to your Janazah,” I’m like, “Ahhh.” He’s real, he’s a real dad. He’s a real dad. He’s a super legend. Super big facts. But I didn’t change. When is he coming on the show? He would love– I can’t do that, he would, he would feed
off of it too much. I’d just love to see my dad
do the jump to the stage.

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