Summer: At my heaviestI weighed 410 pounds. There were a lot of bullies growing up and I just felt completely alone. A suicide attempt literally changed my life. Automatic switch. I lost 200 pounds. And now I weighed 195. There was no option to be lazy or to fall off track. I was becoming me. Now the amount of skin that
I have is just debilitating. I really wanted to
see the body that I had been working for, for so long. The only way I was going to do that was through having skin removal surgery. There were a lot of bullies growing up, but I almost built a shield against them. I always called myself the funny fat friend, because I was always making fun of myself for other people to laugh. But of course, I wasn’t laughing inside. At my heaviest I weighed 410 pounds. Anything physical was a strain, either on my knees, on my heart. I knew what the doctors were going to say, if you don’t do something about your health, you’re going to die. And I just felt completely alone. And it wasn’t until a suicide attempt that literally changed my life. Seeing the look on my parents face in the hospital waking up, it was just like, automatic switch. I lost 200 pounds, and now I weigh 195. When I started my weight loss, I really hated going to the gym. After noticing I’m getting better, I’m getting stronger. Everything that I’m doing is actually I’m seeing results from doing it. It’s just, it’s more like a challenge to myself now. So I enjoy it. This day I remember so vividly. That’s when I started my journey when I decided, this is my first day I’m going to go to the gym. And it was the hardest day of my life. Very hardest part about my weight loss journey has been, accepting my body throughout the entire thing. Just like most people’s reactions, I can’t … It’s hard to believe that I was actually that person. But at the same time, sometimes when I wake up when I look in the mirror, I still see that same person. It’s like my, my mind hasn’t caught up to my body yet. After losing the weight now the amount of skin that I have is just very debilitating mentally. My skin is a reminder of The weight that I used to carry and it just feels like baggage. I bought this dress maybe three years ago and I said once I lost my
weight I was going to wear it. But after I put it on I just don’t feel comfortable in it yet. At this point in my journey I look at myself as the butterfly that’s stuck in the cocoon. Once I have my skin removed and once I can finally feel like I have the body that I’ve worked so hard for, I feel like I’ll be the butterfly. I really wanted to see the body that I had been working for, for so long and I knew at a point that the only way I was going to do that was through having skin removal surgery. It has taken so much out of me physically and mentally to get where I am today. So, I’m just I’m so proud of myself. Main thing that I was worried about was definitely my stomach, because I had so much extra skin It was just like an extra pouch that you couldn’t see my stomach at all. So now, after having the skin removed, I had a super extended tummy tuck, which involves a incision all the way from the back, almost all the way around my torso that connects and goes all the way to the other side. I just feel normal. This is the body that I feel like I worked for, I still feel like I’m natural. I am very, I’m very happy with it. My life has completely changed after surgery. I have so much more confidence; people have always seen me as a confident person. But I see the confidence in myself now. I have not tried this dress one since I’ve had surgery. So I’m so excited to see what it looks like. I’m a little nervous. Hopefully I feel comfortable enough. So starting out as the caterpillar in very beginning of my journey, moving to the cocoon and finally breaking free. I feel like I’m finally the butterfly. I am finally Summer.