Keith Judges 11 Dogs And Their Hometowns

Keith Judges 11 Dogs And Their Hometowns

– Welcome back to another
episode of the Barkchshler, the internet’s favorite dog review show. Today’s episode we have, I don’t know, 10 to 13 people who have submitted videos of their dog showing us their hometown. I’m gonna learn about these dogs and a little bit about
where they come from, and their family because
if I’m stealing this dog, then I need to know who
I’m stealing it from. I’m just kidding. I’m not stealing the dog, but who knows, the show changes a lot, so who knows? (upbeat music) So at the end of today’s episode, there will be four finalists. I will be mailing out these
finalists some goodies to let them know that
they’re welcome to the suite. Isn’t that a part of it? They give, like, a hotel room key so they can, like, maybe
have sex with each other before the show’s over? I’m not gonna bone the dog but I am gonna give the dog a bone. And then those four finalists will create Instagram profiles that I will judge for a week to find out who truly
is the most viral dog out of these dogs that I’ve chosen, sort of arbitrarily to be in the show. Let’s get to it! We gotta shoutout to @The_Barkchshler, the Twitter handle that does
most of the work on this show. They have aggregated all the contestants through no ask of mine and they’ve sent me all of the submissions so that I could put them all
in a little internet tabs and be really breezy with this shoot, so I appreciate the
pre-production help there, @The_Barkchshler. All right, we have the first submission from @CharlesAvocado, that’s
Charles Avocado Van Gogh, for those keeping up with the series. So, since this show started to now, Charles Avocado Van Gogh has
had one of his legs amputated. Wow, what a story. So let’s just watch Charles’… I mean, he’s just hopping through town. He’s got three legs. He doesn’t even care. He doesn’t even need that 4th leg. – [Dog Owner] Oh, it’s Brookside Park. This is a real great place
– He’s in a stroller. – to come and hangout. – This whole video is narrated. He’s showing us his park,
he’s playing with the ball. That ball is fucked up. Oh, he caught it! He caught the big ol’ ball in the air! These are some good shots. I will say this is shot very well. Put together very well. Oh, he’s going home and he’s watching the Barkchshler. He’s just watching himself win the first episode of the Barkchshler. Wow, that was incredible. Submission number two,
the Bucket Queen Zoey. (soft music) Music is mixed way too loud. Just, technical note. Can’t hear what you’re saying. Oh my God, Zoey’s being walked
by a person riding a horse. Oh, he’s in a big ol’ basin of water! (laughing) Zoey! Get out of the basin, you’re in a tub! Aw, there’s the proud mama. Oh, so sweet, sitting in
front of a tank of gasoline. Zoey the Bucket Queen, that was cute. This is from rural Washington state. Wow, from Iowa to Washington, we are meeting dogs across
this fine, fine country. So let’s head on over to Kylo. This is Kylo’s city tour. Welcome to Chattanooga! Wow, I’m from Tennessee! Wow, Chattanooga! Did you know that Chattanooga has some of the best internet in America? Why? Fuck if I know but it does. Oh, this is beautiful. Chattanooga, you’re looking good. I remember when you looked like shit. Getting a lot of views of this dog’s butt. Wow, I’m getting a real
advertisement for Chattanooga here. I’m seeing the railroad. I saw Rock City. I saw a park. I saw some cool bridges. Choo choo! The Tennessee Aquarium? And the stairs with water all over them that someone’s walking down. That seems unsafe. This is a real thing? See ya next time. I really felt like I
saw the whole hometown. Let’s check out the next submission. We got, from Mikayla, here we go. Music is mixed way too loud, again. It’s like, deafening. This is Nala. Nala’s the underdog ’cause
I never really liked Nala but here she is, isn’t she? Denton, Texas with Mikayla. Town known for it’s exciting restaurants. It’s a nice shot of her in
front of the restaurants. The university of North Texas. Go Mean Green! The only thing that Nala
loves more than her hometown, come on, it better be
Keith, better be Keith, is the family she spends time with. Missed opportunity. Team Nala, wow. That was great, I felt
like I saw a good hometown. I got to really know the family. I love the sunset shots. Nala looks beautiful. The hashtag Team Nala, a
little thing about hashtags, you can’t have a space in a hashtag. You just did hashtag team and Nala. All right, this is Princess’s day in LA. 42 views, published by Maddie Merrit. – We’ve had princess for 10 years. – Nickname for Princess is Ootsy Bootsy. Oh, is Princess about to jump? Fuck yeah, Princess! Princess was flying off
that chair onto the bed. She’s at Lacma? Oh, that’s right, Princess is in LA. She’s doing all the
things you do in Lacma. You play around the things. That was good. Looks like they’re at the Grove? No, Princess is not getting on that. Princess is on the double decker trolley. That was great. I liked meeting your family. I feel like, we could have a nice chicken
parmesan dinner together. Let’s move on to Kenny. Hmm, music is mixed just right. This kinda looks like we’re on a date. This is in New Hampshire. 50 miles north of Boston in Londonderry. Stupid name. This is beautiful right now. Wow, I like the simplicity of this. This is just shots of the dog. Wow Kenny, you’re so majestic. Oh, look at that dog booty! Oh, ho, ho, ho! Oh shit, they got the Kenny wiggle! They’re going into a brewing company? They’re leaving. Oh, he is drunk. Mom takes him on walks. Oh, Dad feeds him scraps. I’m falling in love over here. Okay, he looks like such a sweetie. Oh, shit! That was so cute! He just fell back and
got his belly all rubbed. This is so cute. This is a whole family is in on this. They’re all supporting Kenny’s dreams. And Kenny’s snoring. You know, there was
something to the simplicity of that video that it
really shook a core with me. It was as if the dog made it. Whew that’s gonna be tough to follow but here we got Rigby. Hello Rigby! Rigby, welcome to my hometown
of Downey, California. This is oh, hold on, hold on. Time out. This shot is good. Is somebody on a skateboard. It’s a very smooth, low
angle tracking shot. I just like the way Rigby looks. Oh, wow, they’ve got it
on some kind of, like, remote control car or something. The shots are really smooth and beautiful. I thought that was a
pretty good submission. I think Rigby’s a beautiful dog. The shots were great. I thought this might have had some of the best cinematography. Let’s move on to Buster. Welcome to the Cheltenham Spa. Spa. They’re giving me weird facts here. This is a fact about how
pigeons pecked at salt in the early 18th century and how that changed the town forever. Let’s figure out why. What was the result of the salt deposits? People drank the water, believing
it would heal illnesses. How did that change everything? I’m so confused. Here’s more of this dirty water. Don’t drink the saltwater. It’s saltwater, Buster. No, stop drinking it. It’s kinda like an action sequence. There’s intense music. Oh, he’s back in the water! He’s trying to drink it again! Buster, no! Ah, they gave him real water. Now that really went from
hometown video to crazy movie. It was like Buster trying to find water and his family being
like no don’t drink it, it’s poison and Buster being
like I gotta have the poison. All right, let’s go onto… Dozer. Ooh, this is a good
track, I like this track. He’s from Ontario, Canada. Ooh, music change. Aw, it’s a family shot in the woods. They’re all happy. I love seeing families. This is so sweet. Dozer walking away, get
a shot of that booty. Wow, look at that dog made of bushes. It’s so fucking weird. Fucking weird. And now, oh shit! Yeah, Dozer. Dozer is peeing on the
face of the giant bush dog. (laughing) Yeah, Dozer. Woo! Here we go, we got
another video from Koda. Koda is the one who talks a lot. And had props, so I’m
pretty amped for Koda. – [Narrator] Hey fur friends.
– Ah, here we go. He’s talking.
– [Narrator] Welcome to my paw my life. – Oh my God, Koda’s doing a draw my life and it’s called paw my life. They’re moving Koda so it looks like Koda’s pointing at things. – [Narrator] We have Garden
Grove’s historic main street where I love to strut. – Wow, Koda’s got a nice… Strut her fluff. She loves to strut her fluff. This is so sweet. It’s so cute. This is like a real video. Oh, that’s so cute. It’s like a little scrapbook video. – [Narrator] We may not have
always have it all together, but together, we have it all. – We may not have it all together, but together, we have it all. Where’s this dog find his wisdom? It’s just such a weird looking little dog, if I’m being completely honest and the voice, maybe
unsettles me a little bit but gosh darn it, if it
isn’t a specific brand and they have a commitment to production quality, so, wow. All right, our final
submission from Missoni. Days of editing brought us this video. Days. This better be fucking good. – [Keith On The Monitor] A good bulk of that video is just you walking. You know, I didn’t, it wasn’t, I didn’t… (beep) (laughing) – It starts with a dog
watching me burn her. Let’s see what’s next, wow. I’m intimidated. Seems like this dog is about
to launch an attack ad on me. – [Missoni] Hmm, so you want
more than just walking, eh? Okay! – This dog is British or Australian. Wow, the text spilled out after
her running by with Missoni. Damn, we got a hot bod! I have to stop, I have
to stop, I have to stop. This is a diss rap track that this dog is doing right now. I just need the room to
hear what I’m watching. Hold on. ♪ It is not my walk, son ♪ ♪ Boy, watch me slay ♪ ♪ It’s hometown week and
you girl did come to play ♪ ♪ Walking in the park ♪ ♪ Shopping in the shopping center ♪ – It is amazing! ♪ This is mother ♪ ♪ Her name is Bianca ♪ ♪ She’s a crazy ass dime ♪ ♪ She needs some help or donate please ♪ She’s a pretty ass fly
or what did she say? And then she needs money? And then they made Missoni
into the Try Guys end card! What do I say? Of course it took you days of editing. You produced a rap track for your dog. That was awesome. That was great. Fucking blown away, I
don’t know what to say. That was so good. Now is the time for us to decide which of our eleven submissions
will make the top four. The dogs that go on are gonna
create Instagram profiles and have to make daily content for me to judge and also
for my fans to judge. Who’s gonna get the most followers? Who’s gonna get the
most impressions, likes? Who’s gonna show up in
that Instagram search bar? You know what I’m saying? This is huge. Okay, I’m gonna start with
the easy choices here. Fucking Missoni is in. Are you kidding me? A whole rap track. I got a lot of attitude. I saw the hometown. You brought something specific and you showed me that
you can create content that is specific, has a brand, and you can grow into
your very own pup star. Congratulations to Missoni. You’re our first finalist
in the Barkchshler. You’re getting one of these donuts, some bones and a letter from me. I’m also gonna have to go
ahead and give it to Koda. Parts of what you make for
me, your voice is so bizarre, I can’t deny that you have a
commitment to this competition, that’s there’s something
special about you, that you really are a good dog and you have a loving family. I feel so connected to you
throughout this process that I have to make you my second finalist in the Barkchshler. Duh-nuh-nuh-nuh! (laughing) Let me just take a quick glance through. We have Charles Avocado
Van Gogh, an actual hero. Kylo’s city tour. I felt a real connection
to Kylo in Chattanooga. I like Nala a lot. I thought we got a good
video of Denton, Texas. Princess is in LA. I really enjoyed meeting the family. Wow, this is tough. Kenny, Kenny’s video was
just so special and solemn and Kenny’s just beautiful. Oh Rigby, oh my God. This is gonna be so hard. I gotta say goodbye to some of these dogs. They’ve been such good contestants. I really feel like I’m
feeling the actual emotion and sadness that Bachelor
contestants go through. This is a bit of a wild card perhaps but I’m actually gonna go with Kenny. There’s something I see in Kenny that’s something so special. I don’t know, I just got
this vibe from the family. I also love that none of the family spoke. They were just being with the dog. The challenge here is going
to be if Kenny’s content can compete with that of Koda and Missoni who really bring in something specific so what is Kenny’s brand going to be? I don’t know. That was crazy. Okay, wow, I can’t wait. Who’s gonna be the final one? Oh my God. This is one of the hardest
decisions I’ve made in 2018. One of these dogs has
a really amazing story and I really think this dog
has a viral potential online. Because Corgis are the internet and Charles Avocado Van Gogh is a Corgi. A long haired Corgi
that’s just so beautiful. Charles, welcome to the final
four of the Barkchshler. I’m gonna write you all a letter. You’re getting some bones. You’re getting a donut. I will tag each of these
finalists in my Instagram to give you that boost,
that Habersberger bump, that Barkchshler bump. I wanna see some stories, too. Can you really compete with Doug the Pug? Can you compete with Moose, LaurDIY’s dog? Does that gif dog, with
the poofy hair, huh? Can you compete with those dogs? All the owners are so wonderful for making these incredible videos, for being along with us on
this ride of the Barkchshler. Just because you didn’t
make it to the final four, doesn’t mean you can’t
be a famous internet dog. You know, make an Instagram. Make that content. Get that dog out there
and monetize that pet. There are brand opportunities
for Instagram dogs like crazy. I’m just sayin’. Like, maybe you hate your job. Maybe your job could be your dog. It’s a thing people do. Give me that pen! Dear Missoni. Dear Koda. Dear Kenny. Dear Charles Avocado Van Gogh. Congratulations on becoming a finalist in season two of the Barkchshler. Enclosed is a donut and some bones. Please make an Instagram account and send it to me so that
I may vet your seven posts. Good luck and God speed. Love, Keith Habersberger
and the Barkchshler. Am I the Barkchshler? I’m the Barkchshler, right? I’m the Barkchshler. So the official seven post challenge will star on this date and will end by this date so please submit your seven posts just as you do. I’ll tag your posts on the first day so that people can find you. We’ll see, we’ll see how you fare and then we will finally find out who is the winner of season
two of the Barkchshler. This is so exciting. I can’t believe we’re here. My heart goes out to all the contestants that didn’t make it this far. I think you’re all really good
boys and really good girls. Your families were beautiful. Your hometowns were lovely. Really great stuff. Congratulations to our top four finalists. We’ll be seeing them
next time on the finale, the season finale of season
two of the Barkchshler! Wow! Wow! Wow, we’re doing it! (festive music) (upbeat music) Is this all gonna fit? There you go. You’re gonna get one of these in the mail, all four contestants, unless it’s opened by a search team.

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About the Author: John Markowski


  1. I live in Chattanooga and the reason we have the fastest internet is because of our main internet provider, EPB!

  2. The Try Guys try…WATCHING CARTOONS :)? (Like Steven Universe, Adventure time, Gravity Falls, etc) More modern cartoons of this generation. 😀

  3. 4:05 I’m from Denton, Texas and I have a question for Nala is that LSA behind you and Beth Marie’s ! LOVE YOU NALA HOPE U WIN !

  4. I'm from Derry, NH and seeing Kenny in my neighboring town was so wholesome <3 but yes… Londonderry is a stupid name.

  5. You should do like a parody series of this where the roles are switched. The dogs have the humans role and the humans act like dogs.

  6. Princess was my dog… we had to give her up for adoption because we went bankrupt and we didn’t want her to live a bad life… holy shit my dog!

  7. Oh man I know we are supposed to fall for the dogs but this series is making me kinda have a favorite #TryGuy maybe? Lol

  8. bitches will watch a 10+ min video of a grown man reviewing dogs and consider it good content… im bitches.

  9. I live in Londonderry and I've seen and met Kenny before and he's such a cutie pie and an absolute sweetheart

  10. My cats Deleno and Crowley are huge fans and would love to see a "Cat-lorette" hosted by Zack! He's Deleno's favorite Try Guy because he loves cats!

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