Kelly Oxford & Rainn Wilson Chat in a Sweaty Van | Metaphysical Milkshake

Kelly Oxford & Rainn Wilson Chat in a Sweaty Van | Metaphysical Milkshake

-Hi. -There is nothing
to be scared of. Get in. –[ Singing ]
Take a sip from your soul on a metaphysical milkshake. -I feel so lucky
because I feel like there’s probably a lot
of people that are like, “Man, I would love to meet
Rainn Wilson in the back of a sweaty
freight van in the Valley, and I totally get to. -Line up, people.
Line up, America. -This is, like, amazing. -Do weird and dangerous things
happen in the backs of vans in Canada, as well as, like,
in the United States? -Absolutely.
-Oh, yeah? So that’s a universal thing.
-That’s a universal thing. -You think, like,
Bolivia, Borneo? -More so.
-Really, even more so? North Korea?
-If you saw a van in Bolivia. -You’d be like, “Stay away.”
-Get away from it. -Nothing good can happen in
the back of a van in Bolivia. -No.
-Where do you want to go? -Um…
-If you can go anywhere? -I think we should
go to Bolivia. They’re all scared of us. -I am sitting here with
Kelly Oxford, who is Canadian. She is a blogger. She’s a mom and does
social media and lots of things. She has just moved to L.A.,
because you are a writer. So you grew up in Edmonton
and you always wanted to write. -Yeah.
-Since you were a little girl. -I always wrote. I always just
wrote stuff, like stories, books in school. You know, they would
submit them to magazines, like kids’ magazines
and things like that. And then when I was 19,
I borrowed money from my parents — I was
still living with my parents — and I went to a seminar and learned how to write
a screenplay, and then I tried to sit down
and write one, and I realized
that there was nothing that I wanted to share yet. But I was 19.
I could write, you know. -You had no stories. -I had no stories.
I had no — And even the stories
I was living, I did not share.
I needed to not have — -That’s why you got pregnant
so many different times? -Exactly. -Stories. You have like 12?
You have how many kids? -37 children.
-37 children, right. -Three.
-Three kids. -I find it really inspiring
that you are able to have such a rich, deep, varied
creative life and be a mom at the same time. -Once the kids are older
than having to make sure they don’t fall
down the stairs. It’s a lot easier
to just make sure they’re happy doing
what they’re doing and keep an ear on them
and be able to work. Writing is a great thing.
I can do it anywhere. I can do it on the couch.
I can write anywhere. -What are you writing? -Right now,
I’m finishing up my book, which is a compilation
of essays. -What’s the title of it? -“Everything is Perfect
When You’re a Liar.” I am rewriting a feature that Warner Bros.
bought in April. I’m doing my first rewrite now.
-What’s that one called? -That one is called
Son of a B-tch.” I had to come up
with a good title. -Great title.
-One they’ll really pick up. -That’s catchy, yeah, yeah.
-And it’s just a funny saying. Like, anybody that says
earnestly, “Son of a b-tch,” like it’s really funny.
Do you agree? -Yeah. Okay, this is
a good YouTube challenge. Upload a video of you saying
“son of a b-tch” as seriously and passionately
and as investedly as possible and upload
your video right there. -It doesn’t have
to be screaming, either. -No.
-Because we don’t want to watch a bunch of screaming people,
people screaming. -Not screaming, but serious.
Yeah. -Earnest.
-Earnest, good. Let the hilarity began, and go. How did you get to be so funny? -My parents are weird, maybe.
-How weird are they? -They are really, really weird. -My parents are very weird, too.
-Really? -Yes.
-How weird? -So weird
that it would melt your face. They’re face-meltingly weird. -So, I found last night that
your mom was a yoga teacher. -Yes.
-My mom was a yoga teacher. -Yeah.
-Favorite yoga position? -Downward dog.
-Hello! [ Laughs ] -Pretty much.
-Yeah. -Yeah, yoga teacher mom. That was weird growing up
with a mom that did yoga in the ’80s
because nobody knew what it was before Madonna went on “Oprah”
and talked about it. -Say metaphysical
three times fast. -Metaphysical, metaphysical,
metaphysical, metaphysical. -You are too good.
Stupid Canadians. -I should be acting.
-So, some nice big questions… What is our purpose in life? -God. Follow your instincts
and not hurt anybody. -What happens when we die? -Oh, I have no idea. -Do you know any Mounties? -No.
-Do you believe in God? -If I say yes, I sort of
don’t believe it, and if say no I sort
of don’t believe it. -What does your soul look like?
-Confused. -What you do to get in touch
with your creative core? -I’ll go outside, getting away
from screens and phones and all of that sort of thing
and actually — -Get away from screens
and phones. -Get off of it. You know, going to see
a movie really inspires me. -Get away from the screens
unless it’s a movie screen. Is there true love? -Oh, yeah, there’s true love
going on all the time. I don’t think that we could,
like, do any of this if we didn’t, like, love
sort of everything. You couldn’t do anything. -You couldn’t shoot
talk shows in vans? -No, no, no, no, you wouldn’t
have bought this van if you didn’t like love. And you just don’t do
things if you don’t love. I think you shut down. That’s when you become
a murderer, want to just destroy things. -What’s the weirdest thing
you’ve ever left on the roof of your car? -I have never left anything
on the roof of my car. I’m still waiting
for that to happen. -Ask me. -What did you leave
on the roof of your car? -A saxophone.
-A saxophone? It was a rental,
and we paid $200 price. -Can you play the saxophone
for me? -I was a clarinetist and then a saxophonist
and a bassoonist. -I don’t even know
what a bassoon sounds like. -A bassoon
sounds like Einstein farting. [ Imitates bassoon ] -Are there going to be comments
on this YouTube channel? -Yeah, there is. -Is there going to be
a comment section for people? -Yeah, there is going
to be comments down below. -I kind of
like the bad comments. Like, I like the guy who —
I put up a profile picture, and he tells me I look
like a cross between
Voldemort and Joey Ramone. I don’t mind that. -You should see the things
I get called. -That should be my…
-It’s terrible. -Really? It’s going to be awesome. -Thanks for coming
to Bolivia with us. -Thanks for coming
to Bolivia. Keep it — Keep it clean. -Keep it clean, kids. Son of a b-tch. -No! No! No!
Stop the van! Stop the van!
-Oh, sh-t! -Whoo! -That was awesome! -Get it?
-Yes. -Outtakes.

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About the Author: John Markowski


  1. notice at 0:00 Dwight, i mean Rainn, is driving is pulling up on the drive way and at 0:08 you wonder how did he do it in the first place..

  2. Why would Canada have any problems with the USA, if you don't mind me asking? We sort of do our own thing- always have really.

  3. Well, this time you asked some almost metaphysical questions but you didn't even discuss the answers (which were disappointing in themselves), so with all due respect I'm leaving to find a real discussion.

  4. ive been watching this channel for about an hour now, and have watched Rainn in Ze Frank's and John Green's videos and i didnt even realize he was in the office…. what?

  5. Some people just dont know talent. Even if came up and bit yous in the ass. Just sit back and think of ALL the incredible talent that has come from Canada. Jealousy is one nasty virtue.

  6. Fun fact, we almost lost several thousand dollars worth of camera equipment and lighting when the van started rolling backwards at the end of this video. It was not very whimsical in the moment.

  7. Self Sufficiency and Freedom. It's easy to forget when the system is working correctly and you live in a relatively peaceful period of history.

  8. I'm an American and I feel the same way about guns. My friend's mom just bought his manic depressive-ass an AR-15 and that really brought my problem with gun laws extremely close to home. I feel like gun laws need to be revised and the type of guns that people are allowed to have definitely needs to be regulated. There is a big difference between a civilian owning basically a military grade rifle and a civilian owning a pistol for self-protection or a shotgun for hunting.

  9. But the only real benefit to having such a free law regarding guns is that if any country tries to invade us on land, they would have two armies to get through. 1 government funded, and one purely civilian.


  11. Hey Kelly, I have been following you on Tumblr and Twitter for around two years. I think your great. Good luck with everything!!!

  12. you know, im american and i havent quite figured it out. but my dad taught me how to shoot when i was in first grade.

  13. I believe guns are necessary for the people to have something to stand against their government in the event of tyranny. Or invasion. I mean, In WWII The Japanese refused to invade America because they knew not only would they be fighting the military, but the people as well. Plus, many people have saved innocent lives because they were carrying a gun. (That's not the only reason; there were others) So. Plus. They're fun as shit to shoot.

  14. cuz we are bad asses, I don't quite understand why people are so against guns, alot of people have shooting hobbies it's not like having a gun means universal death

  15. "If only guns were illegal no one would ever get shot" Bleeding heart non sense. First off, the massive majority of gun violence is perpetrated with illegal fire arms, so banning guns only serves to further disarm law abiding citizens. Secondly, the right to keep and bear has nothing to do with billy bob shooting skeet in the mountains and everything to do with having an armed population capable of defending themselves against tyrannical governments. Government is far more dangerous then guns.

  16. I agree with the first part whole heartedly, that guns being legal has absolutely nothing to do with crimes being perpetrated because crimes are committed for actual reasons. However, I disagree with the notion that everyone should get a gun so we can fight the government if we have to. Unless everyone got a missile silo int heir back yard we could never even present a threat to the U.S. government. instead just get involved in Gov.

  17. If that is your opinion you are absolutely welcome to it. I just feel that it's important to vote at every opportunity and to make the most of your chances to have your voice heard and hopefully be part of (hopefully beneficial) change. The fact remains that having an AK-47 instead of a colt .45 will not make you any safer from the government and there is no way we could ever present a threat to the gov. becoming involved is a more effective way of influencing change in my opinion.

  18. Isn't an Ak full auto, I'm okay with civilians not having machine guns and rocket launchers. I'm trying to get involved with info wars, wearechange etc. I'm also one of those people that believes their is life out there. They could come in peace or they could be hostile, I feel much safer being able to own a semi auto assault rifle.

  19. I'm a former Eagle Scout, and we always practiced "Be Prepared" so i admire your preparation. However, if aliens possess the technology to travel to Earth, they probably have weapons so advanced that any of our weapons, short of the atomic bomb, would be useless.

  20. I don't believe in interstellar, or cloaking tech. I just believe any species that uses space travel has mastered cryogenics. You want the planet for it resources. Blowing it all up would not benefit anyone. How much does it cost us to send an entire battle ship across the ocean. How much would it cost them? Just because a civilization had a million years doesn't mean they didn't destroy themselves first. What makes you sure in 100,000 years we will have 20+ space stations.

  21. I'm not sure that we will have any space stations, the point I was trying to make is that as a society advances technology, they advance it in all fields. So if they have the technology to travel the millions of light years it takes to get to Earth, then they probably have weaponry and defense that would make a gun, handgun or automatic, useless. It's all hypothetical anyways and I wouldn't buy a gun because I'm worried about aliens coming to Earth, but thats just my opinion.

  22. Yes but societies rise and fall, whose to say any has kept rising nonstop. My guess is any civilization that would leave their planet would be because they had no other choice. What if they come seeking refuge? Every other species out there has to face natural disasters on their planet. There could be a chance of a planet with no asteroid impacts, no volcanoes, earthquakes etc. Allowing them to keep advancing but I wouldn't bet on it.

  23. Yea, thats what I'm saying. If a race had the technology to travel the distance to Earth, then they surpass us by great margins in likely every form of tech.

  24. We have the tech to build a space ship, fill it with people and send it off. The cost would be in the trillions, we would never see them or the ship again. The ones born in space would not be able to live on earth from what I could tell. A space traveling race would need supplies from planets and that's it.

  25. Son of a bitch! I cannot believe this! About an hour before stumbling upon this video I earnestly texted someone, "Son of a bitch!" (something I never say) and I thought it was hysterical that I actually found a time to use the phrase. weird.

  26. Rainn "Do you believe in god"

    Kelly "If I say yes I sort of don't believe it and if I say no I sorta don't believe it."

    So relatable!

  27. I'd get in line. I really just want to hear Rainn say "False." to something in the intimate setting of the back of his van. Side note, I'm straight. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

  28. I just creampied a toothless polish hooker, so this time tomorrow, i'll prolly be dead. Kelly's legs are so sexy.

  29. I once left my wallet on the roof of my car. I then drove crosstown through central park. I parked the car and there was my wallet still on top of the car (it had rained just a bit so the leather stuck to the car roof).

  30. Where does the line start? I want to chat about philosophy and whatever in the back of your van. One of my favorite pastimes.

  31. Lord Voldemort has much better skin than her. And Rainn, your parents are so facemeltweird that they probably signed up for the Mars One colony to become the first hippy martians; and for the metaphysician milkshakers out there that aren't familiar with MarsOne, be prepared for the most fascinating mind punch of a Google search since your 7th grade social studies classmate introduced you to filter-less image searching.


  33. Rainn, Metaphysical Milkshake is just about the only thing I can go on the Internet and be refreshed by. Thankyou so much.

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