Key & Peele – Rap Album Confessions

Key & Peele – Rap Album Confessions


[snaps]
First things first. I do not care that you’re a multi-platinum selling
rapper, Gun Rack. What I care about
is that I, 100%, know that you murdered
Darnell Simmons. So,
you better start talking. [dramatic music] ♪ [softly] Yeah,
but you ain’t got nothing. Oh. Uh, you know, I’m actually, I’m very glad
that you said that. Because I–respectfully,
I beg to differ. [hip hop music
on tape player] ♪ I killed Darnell, yeah,
I shot him with my nine ♪ ♪ I shot him nine times,
9:00 p.m. on the dime ♪ ♪ And by the way,
it was November 9th ♪ [music stops] That don’t mean nothing. I got a vivid imagination. I couldn’t have shot
Darnell. I was at my cousin’s
birthday party. Red Lobster, November 9th. – At Red Lobster?
– Mm hmm. Geez, I got to tell you,
Gun Rack, I find that really hard
to believe. [music continues]
– ♪ I got an alibi ♪ Birthday,
Red Lobster ♪ ♪ When in reality I shot
Darnell like a mobster ♪ ♪ It’s a lie,
Anyone could tell this ♪ ♪ Because I got an allergy
to all shellfish ♪ [music stops] Just confess, Gun Rack. I confess that “shellfish”
is the only thing that rhymes with “tell this”. It’s just words, Detective. Nouns, adjectives. That just happen to be
in a dope order. But…you ain’t got no proof. [music continues]
– ♪ Shot up Darnell ♪ With a long-ass gun ♪ And I tossed it
into the aquarium ♪ ♪ I have no idea
what that object is. – I don’t–
– If I had to identify it, I would call it a gun
of the long-ass variety. Some seaweed in there, too.
Look, Detective. I hate to break it to you. I ain’t kill nobody. [music continues] ♪ I stroke my chin real slow
when I’m lying ♪ ♪ And I was laughing super hard
as Darnell was dying ♪ The name of the album
isI Killed Darnell Simmons.– It’s a concept album.
– A concept– That’s a picture of you. A picture of you, and behind you
is Darnell Simmons’s body! Coincidence. You’re going away
for a long time, you understand? You’re gonna confess if it’s
the last thing you ever do, you hear me, Gun Rack?
I’ll beat it out of you. – Joe.
– I’ll beat it out of you. Joe! He’s free to go. What?
No. No, no, no, no, no. We have everything
we need. No, it was Simmons’s
girlfriend. She just confessed
to the whole thing. Infidelity.
Crime of passion. Let’s go, Mr. Rack. [dramatic music] ♪ [music from tape player]
– Bonus track, bonus track. ♪ Got a ride or die bitch ♪ I think you get the gist ♪ And when you let me out,
I’m gonna blow a little kiss ♪ ♪ Consider this my confession
admissible in a court ♪ ♪ I killed Darnell Simmons
for sport ♪ [laughs]
♪ That’s right, I’m a murderer – ♪ Come and get me
– Hector, stop! ♪ You can’t,
come down the hall and get me ♪ ♪ Okay, okay,
you got me ♪ You got me, you got me. Yes. Whoa, whoa. Damn.
Ow, ow!

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About the Author: John Markowski

96 Comments

  1. Subscribe to the new Key & Peele YouTube channel for all the classics as well as new-to-YouTube sketches: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdN4aXTrHAtfgbVG9HjBmxQ?sub_confirmation=1

  2. I have no idea what that object is if I had to describe it I’d call it a gun of the long ass variety some seaweed on there too

  3. Wake up in the morning I got Darnel Simons on my mind long arse gun and a 9 at 9 and all these punk detectives trying to convict me because of this song. By YNW Melly featuring Gun Rack. Darnel Simons on my mind.

  4. Peele: “Which black rapper should I use as inspiration for Gun Rack character?”

    Key: “Ice Cube perhaps? Eazy E?”

    Benicio Del Toro: “WTF Mang.”

  5. Someone legit did this shit in cali. He rapped his confession in an open mic and got arrested. Crazy shit

  6. I miss kay & peele so much. They are the BEST of the best. Best actors i have ever seen. Probably the best actors and comedians of our age. Look at their faces, its perfect the way tbeir face moves

  7. Absolute classic…AND prophetic! Sums up the current hiphop culture..Gay rap, drug rap & snitching rap

  8. Someone got cue from this ! Its on the news
    https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/calif-woman-missing-boyfriend-allegedly-184601868.html

  9. “Iiiiiii…. confess that shellfish is the only thing that rhymes with tell this”………… 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 got me dead

  10. Gosh his rapping sucks, it's like torture lol, it sounds like a 2 year old learning to speak loool wtf, you guys should of done this a little better

  11. I hate the people that quote directly from the video. And I especially hate the THOUSANDS of you that encourage your fellow idiots by giving them likes.

  12. I got a ride or die bitch I think you get the jiss and whn you let me out I'm gonna blow a little kiss😂 barz

  13. this is not an exaggeration either, it's exactly what the system does to you these days. Even when you have undeniable evidence the other party is guilty, they get away scott free.

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