My husband HATES Birthday Cake Protein Bars

My husband HATES Birthday Cake Protein Bars

So it is not my birthday, and I can no longer eat cake anymore because I’m gluten-free. What is that noise? It’s just my dog licking himself, ignore that. I’ve noticed that there are a lot of products
right now on the market geared towards I guess a “healthy” birthday cake? And I thought it might be fun to try some
of them out. And see what they’re like. Does that sound good, Julius? He’s kinda busy right now. Okay, today we are trying out the Quest Bar. I have had a lot of their other bars before,
and I like them. Here’s some more information – there’s milk
and whey – WHEY inside. These look very different from other Quest
Bars in that there’s like a coating on it. Usually the Quest Bars do not have coating, this one does. Hmmm. It tastes like protein powder, much more so than their other bars. It’s almost chalk-y and super sweet from this coating. I don’t know. I don’t know how I feel about this. It’s a cold and rainy day (it’s not that cold)
but I’ve got – it’s cold for LA. But I’ve got Birthday Cake! Robert Irvine’s Fit Crunch. The famous British chef who – I don’t remember
if he’s the one who’s mean to people? Anyway, he made a birthday cake Fit Crunch
bar with a big soft cookie center, 30 grams of protein, 6 grams of sugar and it’s gluten-free
and we’ll see how it is. Looks very bumpy, with just some stripes of
pink on it. Not as confetti-ish as the other bars. (It’s too big.) Abe thinks it’s too big. Maybe you’ll share it with me. (I don’t think so.) Okay, maybe not. Tastes like a candy bar with some rice krispie
crunchies on top (I’ll try it). Now he wants some, huh? Take a bite. (Ew!) I guess that’s a no. (That is so bad!) (Lynn!) I like it, it’s sweet. (Ugh! I’m worried about you.) I guess Abe is gonna say no to that. (No. What’s worse than no?) But I like it. You know what you probably don’t like is the
almond-y flavoring in it it’s marzipan-y. (There’s nothing that I do like about it.) It’s very very very sweet. (It’s awful on all counts. Give me a criteria and it’s failing.) Okay maybe Abe has to try another birthday
cake flavor in order to really determine? I think it’s much better than the one I had
yesterday. (Oh my God, please never feed me that one
you had yesterday.) Okay so Abe really hated that Robert Irvine
Birthday Cake protein bar, but I will say this about it – it had real staying power,
like I was not hungry for five hours. So you have that going for it. Now I’m going to try one that is a lot smaller,
Muscle Milk, I don’t have the greatest feelings about the packaging on this one. Seems like another one that will probably
make Abe gag, but he’s not here! Okay they’re not even trying with this one. There’s no confetti at all whatsoever – or
funfetti I should say. It’s just a pale bar. It tastes caramel-y. It’s also very sweet, there’s a sweet coating. There’s a weird aftertaste. Okay I’m still hungry so I’m going to eat
another one. I think this goes without saying that I am
not a doctor or a nutritionist and you shouldn’t be eating nothing but protein bars – especially
birthday cake protein bars all day long, but you know what? I’m doing this for science. Think Thin Protein Cake – it’s cake! So there’s two of them inside, they look like
rocks? They look like rocks. Eating the first one, mmmm. Super soft. Again, so sweet – almost all of these have
had a sugar coating, like a frosting – I guess that’s why it’s cake. Let me finish chewing. This one also has a very like sticky, caramel
flavoring to it. Really, really sweet. And a weird aftertaste, also. Like nothing about this says “cake” to me. Okay so it’s the next day, it’s still pouring
rain, and I am really sick of eating birthday cake protein bars. But I want to be done with this video so I’m
just going to keep trucking through. I’m about to meet a friend for coffee, and
I’m going to sneak in one of these bars – I only have 3 left to eat. Shhh. And I will give you an update on what I think
of it. I just got home from my coffee, and this is
the bar I ended up eating. The Fitjoy Protein Bar Birthday Cake Batter
– hated it. It was hard, it was visually unappealing,
it did not taste very good and it had like this very bad soy flavor. I didn’t like it. And now I’m hungry so I’m going to have another
bar. God I’m almost done, I can’t wait to not be
eating these bars anymore. This one’s called “My Bar.” Who’s bar? My Bar. Confetti Cake Crunch. Oven Baked – oven baked, really? There it is. This one’s kinda cute, with its pink stripes
and its funfetti. I think these bars are all starting to taste
the same to me. They’re all super sweet, have this weird caramel
flavor that’s not caramel. And I don’t know, there’s this weird like
– almost tastes like there’s jelly in it but there’s not. It’s strange. I don’t like these. What do you think, Julius? Last day, last bar. Is this THE ONE? It says Happy Birthday on the side, and it
looks very promising if this is what they’re advertising. Just like the other bars, it’s got a coating
on it of frosting and not too many sprinkles – but enough to be like “Hey, this is birthday
cake flavor.” I’m really excited, mostly because this is
going to be my last taste of these birthday cake protein bars. Mmm! This one is so far superior to the other bars
that I’ve tried. I definitely feel like I’m eating something
that could be called “birthday cake” – it has no weird chalk-y aftertaste. It’s yummy. So obviously One won this challenge. I kinda wonder what Abe would think of this
one? I’m not going to force him to eat anything
ever again after that reaction that he had. But I think even he might like this one. The funny thing is, when I think of birthday
cake I don’t even think of a white cake with sprinkles on top. I just think of a chocolate cake which is
what my birthday cakes have always been. So maybe next time I should try a chocolate
cake protein bar or maybe I should just go and get myself an actual gluten-free birthday
cake instead. My teeth are hurting me from all of this. But I’m looking forward to trying this again
sometime – maybe with I don’t know, I’ve seen a lot of cookies on the market? Protein cookies? Maybe I’ll try that. Thanks for watching.

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About the Author: John Markowski


  1. I'm with Abe!! I honestly cannot enjoy the cake-flavored protein products out there. 🤢I had the birthday cake protein bar from Quest. I didn't like it. Haha. I guess they're not for me. I'm glad you tried them out for us though.

  2. Hi, I'm not a doctor or anything; but I noticed at the beginning of your vid that you seem to have kind of a lazy eye. Like I said, I don't really have medical training; but you might want to have your eyes checked, because you might need glasses with a different prescription for each eye. It's not that uncommon. Megan Batoon has that, and I totally noticed it, and she did tell me that she has that. I just kinda notice that sort of thing. Not trying to make you feel self-conscious or anything, and sorry not sorry if I did. Sorry that I made you feel that way if I did; but if you pick out the right frames for glasses, I think you'd look even hotter, if that is even possible. BTW, I'd love for your character from Fear the Walking Dead to reappear all of a sudden, and her signature weapons are surgical equipment, and also, she kills Madison. I fucking hate Madison.

  3. 5:40 I hate things that taste like soy that shouldn't taste like soy. And I'll admit I'm a soy boy. I love things that taste like soy that are supposed to, that's totes my jam. That's what a soy boy is, right, because I'll stab the shit out of anybooohhhhhdy that says otherwise. Also 6:34. When you offer your dog food, and he's like F that ish, you shouldn't eat that. Dogs eat poop for fuck sakes. Don't eat anything your dog wouldn't eat.

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