Tag: comedy central

Key & Peele – Al Qaeda Meeting

Key & Peele – Al Qaeda Meeting

– BROTHERS. BROTHERS, LET US BEGIN. I HAVE CONVENED THIS MEETING TO FIND OUT WHAT YOU ARE DOING. WHY HAVE WE NOT TAKEN A PLANE IN 13 YEARS? – KHALIV. YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW. IT IS ALL BECAUSE…

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Key & Peele – Text Message Confusion – Uncensored

Key & Peele – Text Message Confusion – Uncensored

– “BEEN TRYING TO REACH OUT TO YOU ALL DAY. ARE WE ON FOR TONIGHT?” [sighs] JEEZ. – WHAT? YOU CAN’T CATCH ME. YOU CAN’T CATCH ME. I’M LANCE MOORE. TOUCHDOWN, BITCH. WHAT? PAUSE. [phone chimes] OH, SHOOT….

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Key & Peele – Andre and Meegan’s First Date – Uncensored

Key & Peele – Andre and Meegan’s First Date  – Uncensored

[laughter] God, the moment I saw you last night in the club, totally had to ask you out. Are you kidding me? Like, the moment? – Oh, yeah. – That’s so sweet. And I was actually afraid that…

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Key & Peele – Hoodie

Key & Peele – Hoodie

♪ [door creaks] – COME ON, KIDS. [soul music] ♪

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Key & Peele – A Cappella – Uncensored

Key & Peele – A Cappella – Uncensored

[scats] (all) ♪ There goes the girl who owns my heart ♪ ♪ I knew she was the one right from the start ♪ – ♪ Ooh-wah – ♪ Our love is here to stay – ♪ Ooh-wah…

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“Sweet Daddy Dee is a P.I.M.P: Playa in a Management Profession” | Arguing with Myself | JEFF DUNHAM

“Sweet Daddy Dee is a P.I.M.P: Playa in a Management Profession” | Arguing with Myself | JEFF DUNHAM

– How you doing, Sweet Daddy? – No, no, it’s not Sweet Daddy, it’s Sweet Daddy Dee. Ha ha! (audience laughing) (smacking lips) (audience laughing) – Well I’m happy to call you my new manager. – I’m what…

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Patton Oswalt – Finest Hour – Unbroken Belt of Stink

Patton Oswalt – Finest Hour –  Unbroken Belt of Stink

TO ANYBODY THAT I EVER MADE FUN OF FOR WEARING SWEATPANTS IN PUBLIC. I’M SORRY. I’M SORRY. I WAS WRONG. YOU WERE RIGHT. THEY’RE A MIRACLE. THEY’RE A MIRACLE. I THOUGHT–I THOUGHT THAT THE–THE PINNACLE OF MANKIND WOULD…

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Key & Peele – Country Music

No Picture

HEY, ALL I KNOW IS ITS GOOD HAVING ANOTHER BROTHER MOVE INTO THE NEIGHBORHOOD. – HEY, MAN, IT’S GOOD TO HAVE YOU OVER. AND I THINK THAT YOU WILL DIG THIS. – ALL RIGHT. HEY! – HUH? –…

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Key & Peele – Psycho Clown

Key & Peele – Psycho Clown

[eerie music] ♪ ♪ – COULD BE WORSE. – NOT THAT BAD. – FOR ME, IT’S ALL ABOUT PERSPECTIVE. – IT’S WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT. – LOOK, CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING? ALL THINGS CONSIDERED, I’M ACTUALLY…

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Key & Peele – Das Negros

Key & Peele – Das Negros

[doorbell rings] – [German accent] HEILHITLER. MY NAME IS COLONEL HANS MULLER OF THE S.S. AS YOU KNOW, WE WERE COMBING THE AREA FOR JEWS. BUT IT HAS COME TO OUR ATTENTION THAT TWO NEGROES HAVE ESCAPED, AND…

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