Julian: Cute smile. Crazy hair, alright I
dig it. Bunny ears is going to be a no. You want to let me know when we’re rolling?
[off camera]: We’re rolling! Julian: Oh, sorry I didn’t realize, I wasn’t
on Tinder or anything. Okay you got me, I lied, I was on Tinder. Oh what’s Tinder? Well,
it’s this relatively new dating app that’s altering the way millions of people date. And each
week it’s user base balloons by fifteen percent, faster than any dating app in history! So
why is it so addictive? Well it’s the game of love with the pressure taken out. It increases
your odds of meeting someone while lowering the stakes if you fail. See, by reframing
romance into quite literally a game, you fundamentally changed how we engage in it. Let me explain,
80% of the time people spend playing video games, they are failing at it. So why do you
still go on playing for hours on end? Simple, because you know you have a shot at winning.
It’s called “urgent optimism”, which Jane McGonigal defines as extreme self-motivation.
The desire to act immediately to tackle an obstacle combined with the belief that we
have a reasonable hope of success. That is the exact opposite of how we tend to approach
our love lives! So, does turning dating into a game really make us more optimistic about
it. To find out, we set up an experiment. We gathered a selection of subjects who claimed
to be pessimistic about their love life. P1: I’m mingling, but not like aggressively
mingling. Julian: We gave them a test that measured
their optimism about dating. P2: I’m always optimistic about my future
love life, no. Julian: Then we had them download the app,
set up a profile, and use it for 15 minutes. P2: This guy is at a party with two babes
and a gold chain and he’s 19 years old. I’m going to say no right now!
P1: He just has pictures with celebrities. It’s like “I’m not that cool but look at the
cool people I hang out with.” P3: This one has a very muscly back it’s just
pure back. P1: This guy looks too serious and he’s at
the Grammys. He’s too hipster. P4: Why would she have the definition of rice
in her profile, it’s not very attractive. P1: This guy is holding a banana.
P3: Aw, puppy! P2: Dogs, okay, I can work with this.
P1: This guy is holding a dog! How sweet! P2: If you have to take off your shirt and
take a picture, automatic douche! P3: It was cute!
P2: This guy is holding an American flag, like 98 degrees, on top of a mountain. I’m
going to give him a heart right now. P3: There’s some girls in here! Melanie, alright!
“Hey Melanie I wonder if we’ll be a match!” P5: Oh it’s a match!
P4: I like her! P3: Liked!
P2: Wow these guys are in plaid tuxedos holding blue shady party cups and they say they’re
23 but they look 33. I’m going to say yes because they look like a fun time!
P5: When you get a match it says send a message or keep playing. So it’s a game? Can I win?
P3: I’m just so into it, I don’t know which way I’m swiping these people.
P1: This guy looks fun! P5: I got another match! It’s just a bunch
of matches, but she looks like my mom and I kind of wish I didn’t swipe right. I’m going
to tell her she looks like my mom. Julian: When time ran out, we pushed the game
even further by incorporating a goal to work towards. Find a total of ten people they would
go on a date with! Julian: Can I grab a seat here?
P3: You want to play with me? P1: Come on down!
Julian: Okay, we have a little bit of a challenge for you, I think you’re going to do okay because
we wanted to see if you could find ten people on here that you would actually legitimately
consider dating. P5: Okay!
P1: Sure! This guy definitely not. Julian: We’re not going to start with shirtless
guy. P3: So Elmer hearts his body. Alright let’s
have a look. P4: She likes Doug I mean you can’t go wrong
with that. I think she’s a like. Julian: Alright we got one!
P3: Is looking for a needle in the gaystack, nope!
Julian: Alright okay, two! P3: Jason get’s a like! Hey I got a match!
P2: I got to see more pictures of this guy. Julian: What enticed you to click on the photo
on the profile. P2: He’s rubbing his nipples.
P1: We have a lot of things in common, he likes Jurassic Park, I like Jurassic Park.
Julian: Everybody likes Jurassic Park! P1: I don’t know, his smile is rough, might
have to look at that smile for the rest of my life.
Julian: Okay! That’s a no! Julian: Seven! You’re just making mincemeat
of this challenge! P2: Okay I like him. We’re going to go on
a date! P1: Okay, I’ll like him.
Julian: You have several matches! You have a bunch of messages piling up!
P3: I know it’s embarrassing! P1: This guy looks cute, but that’s a terrible
picture. I can’t. I’m sorry ten might be pushing it!
P2: Okay, six likes! Julian: We’re at 8!
P4: That’s 8, yup! P1: Alright so we’ll like him, we’re doing
good! P3: He doesn’t say anything about himself
and I guess it’s what the conversation is for. I’ll like it!
P4: In Las Vegas, I think that’s the last one!
Julian: Nice! P2: What the hell, he has a beard. I like!
Julian: Ten, wait was that a no or a yes? P5: That’s ten?
Julian: I think you said no to two. Julian: When they were done we retested their
optimism about dating to see if they felt their romantic futures looked any brighter.
Other than the fact that every single person loved puppies, after using tinder for twenty
minutes we saw an average jump in romantic optimism of 12 percent with an increase as
high as 20 percent. When we gave them a goal of finding ten people, we incentivized people
with a reward system to be more openminded about who they give the shot to. By having
more reasonable standards. Decades of extensive positive psychology research shows optimism
is the key to building resilience. Your ability to cope with problems and setbacks, which
when you think about it is a lot of what dating is, makes sense. When there is a zilliion
other people at the flick of a finger, rejection doesn’t stink so much! The real benefit comes
from just playing it for the game it is. A resilience building exercise that makes romance
as winnable as Angry Birds. Because when you tackle the task of finding love knowing you
have a real shot at meeting someone you are really into, then most likely you will! I’m
Julian, and this has been The Science of Love! SoulPancake,